“If you have good thoughts, they will
shine out of your face like sunbeams. And you will always look lovely.” – Roald
Dahl
This all started
three weeks ago when I was preparing for work one morning.
Every morning I would
go through my “getting ready” routine, while my youngest daughter came in and
brushed her hair with me. I put on my makeup, my jewelry, brushed my hair, and
completed the whole hoopla of the routine.
But one morning
a few weeks ago, she was mindlessly playing with some of my earrings in the
earring dish and just sighed, “You’re pretty, Mom.”
Somewhat startled
by the out-of-the-blue-at-6:45-in-the-morning compliment, I smiled and said, “Thank
you, honey. That is so nice to hear.”
“You’re even prettier
when you don’t try to be.”
She said this as
I was reaching for my face powder. I stopped, looked at her, and saw her
earnest little eleven-year-old face watching me. Watching my every move. Taking
it all in. How to be a woman. How to “prepare” for a day.
This was one of
those moments that come along every so often. One of those moments that – as parents
– we can either seize and make the most of, or just let pass us right by as if
they mean nothing.
This was not a do-nothing moment.
I seized it.
“What are you
thinking about? Right this minute?” I asked her.
“I want to ask
you to do something,” she said. “But you have to trust me. Because I know you
won’t want to do it.”
I was utterly
perplexed. This is not the way I thought this was about to go. I was expecting
a question, or one of her older-than-she-ought-to-be observations. I was not
expecting a request.
“Okay, what do
you want me to do?”
“I want you to not wear makeup today. Please?”
Wait…what?
“Not wear makeup
to work? But I’m teaching today.”
But then, in a
flash, I thought about it. Wearing makeup doesn’t make me a better teacher. It doesn’t
make me smarter. It doesn’t, in any way, help me function better at my job.
After a while, in fact, it becomes more a kind of armor to hide behind than a palette
to enhance beauty.
“You know what?
Ok. No makeup for me today.”
Emma positively
beamed at me. Her eyes lit up; she smiled bigger than she has smiled in years.
Even her skin glowed. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
Thus began my
journey into makeup-free. For a little over three weeks now I haven’t worn
makeup. It’s oddly liberating, as if I’m getting to know myself all over again.
I wear Burt’s Bees on my lips, a little moisturizer on my skin, and that’s it.
I’m good to go.
I am not averse
to wearing makeup. But when I do, it will be because I want to, and not because
I feel like I am supposed to, or as if it is expected of me. What I have
learned in the past three weeks (and counting) is that I am not defined by how
others perceive me. It all comes back to learning to love the gift of myself,
inside and out.
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